||I have been a singer, songwriter and performer for the past 25 years, making my
living singing in restaurants and bars. I have always had a passion for music and always
loved connecting with people through the emotion of a song.
In the spring of 98, I was experiencing a deep spiritual void within my heart. I enrolled in my first Vision Quest in May of 98 as a result of this spiritual unrest. I had been longing for some divine inspiration, some renewed sense of the sacred.
The Vision Quest was an adventure into the human spirit. It enabled me to bring new passion and purpose into my day to day life. It was a four day journey into the Laurel Mountains. There, on a mountaintop, I experienced the radiance and mystery of nature. We immersed ourselves in American Indian traditions and ceremony including the sweat lodge, which was a physically demanding and transcending experience. The chanting, drumming, singing and dancing inspired a new passion for life and made me aware of the pulse of my beating heart.
I felt enchantment in the wind.
We chanted, and danced around the fire. Exhausted, I fell asleep under the stars which were twinkling in silence. The earth draped in soft moonlight.
And I dreamed and awoke within my dream. As the suns rays slowly crept over the horizon, I experienced a depth of golden color that Id never seen before.
And I breathed, drinking in the color. Filling up and feeling intoxicated by the golden light, I let the vibrant presence fill me and quench my eternal thirst.
Then I woke, but the sky was still dark. The sun was not ready to start the day.
This was my internal awakening, my gift from spirit. I returned home with the renewed message to "listen to my longings" and live my divine journey.
Now, more than ever, I have to follow my musical path. My deep longing is to be a
healing force in the world by experiencing who I am, and connecting with my music.
Copyright © TMHoller 2003